Maybe I just answered my own question. . I got caught in the trap of witty one-liners. This forum is such a special community, the spirit of open sharing and what goes on here, is truly remarkable and touching. We get closer and then he backs away time and time again.
Did you grow up feeling or sadness that has stuck with you and to you and blocks you from taking better care of yourself? By choosing to stay committed, you fighting against social prejudice, embarrassment, disappointment, grief, and fear. When I first left him, and we were re-establishing our relationship at work, or I should say I was showing him my boundaries, I questioned some of his actions that I deemed inappropriate. I never thought about it that way. For all of you who are in similar weakened positions at the moment, please keep the faith and focus on your life and loving yourselves first. No one is perfect, I tell myself, so why do I expect perfection from myself. You feel the person deserves your loyalty, and assuming this person always treated you with love, he or she does, however, only to a certain extent. I always check on him to make sure he is okay he has depression and when he has bad nights I make sure to visit him to make sure he doesn't hurt himself.
I really really understand not being able to let go. You are courageous and one of the greatest heroines of all time! I no longer have any use whatsoever for dodgy,flaky people, either male or female and the old attraction to the bad boys is well and truly over. I was at the bottom of my own list of priorities. I realized that better does exist. Respectfully, how do you know this? But when I would get discouraged and get my rejection fill! How do you transmute your anger and disappointment to graciousness? You have to — in order to justify keeping him in your life.
One time another mom - that I had just met- told me that my life looked like a mess when I was going through a difficult time. That is your reason for never giving up, for striving so hard. And be sure to avoid these eight guilty lines of thinking: 1. Every morning: women share, declare, their esteems reforming — I sit at the screen. To be very honest, you are clearly vulnerable and you have previously demonstrated that your picker is off - you may well be jumping form one bad relationship to another without doing the proper due diligence. Second, was he raised by a mother a an older sister or two, who did all the work for him? Hold your ground, stay grounded as best you can.
He would pull farther away every time I would try to get closer. I knew I had a future and hope. This is your opportunity to live up to your fullest potential, to find out what you really want and run after it. I woke up crying at 3am and checked my email. He is also incredibly stubborn.
Surely, in the absence of anyone else doing it - especially the person charged first and foremost with that job - you should? I could not let others decide my value. Maybe if I had started working on this 40 years ago, I might be well today, but turning 66 today -- it hardly seems worth the effort. There is a realization that every woman has at least once in her life that inspires her to learn, grow and love herself—the realization that she deserves better. I found making it about him was easier to deal with. At the time, I was a total mess- weakened, defeated and highly insecure. Sometimes I can get very insecure and think that maybe just isn't that into me, or isn't willing to invest in me the way I am. Thank you for all that you do… your insights and experience have changed the way I approach life.
Today I am grateful for this site and for all the women who share their stories, in some cases their very soul, to help others. I was persuaded to move in with my ex after two months of declarations and promises on his end. I will read your words over a few times, Elle. Finally just gave up — going on 4 months. Screams, weak moments, witness, scorning. It dovetails perfectly with what I deserve. I could call anytime, show up 30 minutes later, you looked gorgeous, and had an amazing dinner waiting.
A far more effective strategy would be to simply not respond to her. Oh no Tulipa, I thought I was the dumbest student on this site for a long time. Know that you are full of promise; and you are stronger than you think you are. But if somewhere down in your gut you know that he isn't the guy for you, that is seriously something that you should listen to. There are days that I need to be reminded that I do deserve better. I choose to believe that for whatever reason, Magnolia is going through a particular purging of old vibes. Have they come up with a cure for cancer? Must you declare it to the world? The future looked dark, bleak, and cruel.
We all do, whether we readily admit it. Even if he isn't explicitly telling you to stay away from certain people or activities, if you're strongly missing your old life more than enjoying your time with him, you could probably find something better. I think I handled things well. Streams of our strength, mourning. I dont know what changed or if the honey moon phase is just over and this is just how relationships are but im constantly questioning if im happy now. So much to celebrate about that. I never thought about it that way.